Stumbled On The Other Side

I might have leaped over the wall, but unfortunately I stumbled coming down. I thank everyone for their sweet encouragement and very funny suggestions - it helped. I really have had a difficult time being bald. Maybe I'll get use to it. I know it is temporary. I know I would rather be bald and be alive for many years to come. Some days this fight is physical and many days it is emotional. You have to fight how your going to think. Once again I am SO THANKFUL for the support I have around me.

Yesterday, Jim and I went to see the plastic surgeon. He ended up having to drain 180cc of fluid (three visits of fills). He said it was the only way the incision has a chance to heal. It has helped already with the pain. I'm on another round of antibiotics. I am still running a low grade fever (99). The doctor didn't seem concerned but of course I have to call if it goes any higher. Time will tell what will happen in the future. If the incision heals and no scar tissue forms my reconstruction will proceed as normal. If the incision does not heal than they might have to sew it up. If the scar tissue forms they might have to do another procedure (another word for surgery) to break the down the scar tissue. The worst case scenario is that the expanders have to be removed and the whole process starts all over again. I can't even think about that possibility. I am praying for healing and no scar tissue. I see Dr. M in two weeks to check my progress.

After we left Newport Beach we headed to Chino to go wig shopping. You would have been proud of me that I only left the house in a scarf (thanks to Theressa for buying me some). I was so uncomfortable being a blond - I mean a really light blond - it just didn't feel like me. It's a cute wig and I will probably wear it here and there for fun. Jim's mom was so sweet that when she saw me wearing my scarf she gave Jim money to get me a wig. My Aunt Katie has also been telling me that she wanted to get me one too. I was just hoping I would find something I liked. I did! I can't tell you how much better I felt once I found something that felt more like me. I even got a short one for the warm days. Katelynn said the short one is her favorite. You can tell the kids feel more relaxed. Matt kept saying I looked like a "biker chick" when I wore my scarves. Oh well, biker chick or not, I'm still going to wear my scarves in the evening at home because they are just more comfortable.

The doctors and others keep asking if I am eating OK. Yes! I have Deena and Jim's mom to make sure I am. They both keep dropping off food. They are so sweet. Nothing tastes the same but I am eating. My appetite has returned which is good because I have chemo again next week (March 5th) and then the process starts all over again (without the infection this time, or so I hope). I'm also looking forward to having my Mum's (my step-mom) banana bread. She sent me a loaf for my first chemo treatment and I told her I needed a loaf for each treatment. The only thing that tastes normal to me is a banana. Her banana bread is delicious and it's just for me - I don't share.

I finally have a weekend that I am feeling well - YEAH! We're not sure what we are going to do - nothing to do with cleaning (smile). I hope you enjoy yours!!