It Changed So Quickly

I thought I was through the hard part. I really thought I had turned the corner and was on the path of recovery from the chemo. I was so wrong.

Yesterday, started with a trip to the plastic surgeon. My first venture outside of the house since the chemo. Jim in his usual funny self said, "This is what it looks like outside." During the last five days I could care less if there was an outside. Anyways, I had not seen the plastic surgeon in a month because of having the bone scan and Pet Scan. I was told I cannot do that again. Scar tissue will build up and they will have to start from the beginning. I promised I will do my best to see them every two weeks. I don't think I've shared that there is a part of my incision that has not been healing. They are keeping a close eye on it. I knew they wanted it to have healed before I started the chemo. Because it is not healing they have to take the process slower. I'm OK with that because I cannot have any additional surgeries until the chemo is completed. I have to also be honest and tell you I'm not overly excited about the reconstruction process. It is so painful. I left the office once again being in a lot of pain.

I started to feel like I was coming out of my chemo cloud. I believed by today I would get back to normal. It wasn't until we were getting ready to go to sleep that I started to feel strange. I told Jim that I was shaking. He thought that was normal as the chemo medicine was still in my system. He went to bed and I stayed on the couch (I still can't lay in our bed and now it hurts to sit in the chair - so I'm trying to find some comfort on the couch - sleep is miserable). Katie stayed with me and kept asking if I was doing OK. I kept telling her I just wasn't feeling right. I went to take some Tylenol. I couldn't get warm, which is so unlike me that I should have realized something was wrong. I had the chills and my stomach was upset. The next few hours were a blur. I don't think I had any idea how sick I had become.

I just kept thinking it would get better and I didn't want to wake up Jim. By 6:00 am my fever was at 102.5. Jim got Matt to school and then we waited to call the Cancer Center. They informed us to come straight in. When we got there my fever had gone up to 102.7. The first thing they did was to check my white blood count. They were at 2.7 which they said wasn't actually that bad since I just had chemo. They decided to get me hydriated, give me something for the pain, start anti-botics, and give me something for the nausea (they also took bottles - not tubes - of blood). They had me hooked up for 5 hours. Within two hours I was feeling a lot better. I was even convinced that my fever was gone. It wasn't, but it had dropped to 100.8.

Everyone said I looked so much better. That thought scares me because when I looked in the mirror I thought I looked awful - I can't imagine how bad I really looked.

They are going to be monitoring me closely the next several days. If the fever doesn't go away they said they would hospitalize me. I will go in each day for an injection and most likely they will run a bag of anti-botics through me. I had to have an chest x-ray at the hosptial after we left the Cancer Center. I'm exhausted! They said everything they were going to give me would make me sleep. Nope! I was awake the whole 5 hours. Jim was with me the whole time. He needs some kind of reward. I can't imagine what I am putting him through. He hasn't been at work all week. I'm grateful they have been understanding.

Here I was thinking I would be back at work this week. It's all very frustrating.

I don't know how to tell you I am feeling. I might be good right now but I might be in the hospital by the end of the evening. It's all very scary.

We are just going to take each hour by hour, and hopefully by the end of the week I will have fought off this infection.

Your prayers meant everything to me today.