Twas Meant To Be

Yes, once again, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Each way along this journey has been difficult not to jump ahead and choose the path I wish I could take. I've desired to follow God's lead and direction. It hasn't been easy but it has been completely worth it. This is saying a lot for a control freak like myself. I can tell you that I believe I have the oncologist I'm intended to have. My heart is beating fast because I believe that having cancer and going through treatment is going to be something bigger in my life than I have ever imagined. I still wish it wasn't what I was going through. I just know I'm not going to let it go to waste. God is going to do something big through it. I can feel it.

I would never be able to update you on everything that was discussed in our two hour meeting with the oncologist - Dr. R (I know this drives some crazy but I desire to protect my doctor's privacy as I like mine protected - if you need to know, just call). I will do the best I can to explain everything. We really didn't find out anything that we didn't know. My cancer is aggressive and fast growing. It will be treated aggressively. I expected to receive additional bad news, so this wasn't so hard to receive.

I will be having a treatment called TAC (I'll have to update you on what meds those are - I just don't remember). I will be having six treatments - one every three weeks. She believes there is hope. I am starting to love that word HOPE. I will lose my hair and I will gain weight. I'm right back to where I started as a baby...chubby and bald. Maybe, I should put my baby picture on the blog instead?

My treatment will begin in two weeks after the Port is placed. Dr. R is most impressed with the way Dr. W has handled my treatment. She was so pleased that my PET Scan and Port surgery were already scheduled. Dr. R is scheduling an Echo Cardio test (something like that...oh, boy, Kellie is going to kill me for getting this wrong - maybe I'll get it fixed before she reads it) and a bone scan. She wants to make sure my heart is OK before the chemo starts. I can have the bone scan done at any time. I'm so thankful that Linda had prepared me for all of this.

My chemo treatments will be in Corona which I am thrilled about (no long drives - yeah!). Each treatment will last between 6 to 8 hours. I will be getting a steroid pill the night before that will either make me weepy or angry and will prevent me from sleeping. Are we having fun yet? I will be given medication for nausea at the same time of the chemo treatment. The worst part is actually a few days later when the medication wears off. No one knows how I will respond. We won't know until we know. I will also have radiation treatments but not until the chemo is completed. Her goal is to treat my whole system aggressively first and then focus on the cancer within the lymph nodes. At anytime during my treatment if they believe I need additional type of treatments or tests I will be sent to other facilities.

Dr. R couldn't believe that I had gotten an appointment in the Riverside office. She said I was meant to be there. I already knew that.

Thank you for your prayers today. Now...the next hurdle of the PET Scan. Please pray that I would be able to lay flat without any pain and I wouldn't feel trapped. I just don't want to face my cave experience again. It wasn't pretty.

All day I've thought of this scripture. How I pray it will be true.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:25,26

Well, I'm exhausted! I didn't sit all day because I was so nervous. I'm off to my chair. I hope I get a good nights rest. I honestly can lay my head down and still feel very blessed.