A Time to Trust

Breast cancer I'm learning is a different story for each woman. I haven't talked to anyone who has experienced exactly the same thing. It might be close but there is always a different doctor, different procedure, and different treatment. You are always wondering are my doctors doing enough? Is this the right way to handle this situation? It can all be overwhelming.

As I was wondering this one evening I began to reflect on scripture and I was reminded of one of the first verses I memorized. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5,6 I've read or heard this verse hundreds of times yet I knew it was going to be the one verse that would help make sense in the coming days, weeks, and now months. What I heard that first evening though was only...trust. In who? The LORD. Each time the wait seemed to take longer than I thought I heard...trust. I don't know how anyone handles a difficult situation without trusting in God. I believe because I have placed my trust in Him, He has directed all of my steps along this very dark path.

Yesterday, I really didn't want to go to church. Not because I don't love going but I didn't want to be around a lot of people as so many are sick. I was afraid I could come down sick and not be able to have my surgery. That was me trying to control my path. I then said to myself, "I am going to trust God and go. If I get sick and my surgery has to be cancelled then that's what is supposed to happen." So, for those who weren't there, guess what the message was about? "Trusting God in Uncertain Times." I don't think Pastor Justin wrote it just for us but it sure felt like it. There couldn't have been a better message to hear before facing this surgery. I was so encouraged because I realized it was OK to be fearful and experience the sorrow this disease brings. It's OK to show others what you are feeling. The important thing is to take these feelings and give them over to a loving and compassionate Father. I have to lay it all out before Him, allow Him to take it, and then trust Him with the results. I know I have a battle ahead. I will face victories and possibly some set backs but I can't stop fighting. Once the fight is over I will either be helping those who have the same battle or safe in God's hands. Either way, I know I am on the path I'm supposed to be on, and through this journey myself and others will, "...know that You are the LORD. You alone." Isaiah 37:20

I have always been encouraged by the book of Joshua. I was thinking again that Joshua was a successful military leader yet as he was about to face a new battle he was afraid. God reminded him three times to be strong and courageous. He reminded Joshua that He would be with him and would not leave him or forsake him. I know that as I'm wheeled down that corridor to the surgery room God is the only one with me. I'm in good hands!! I'm not sure I will seem very courageous or strong but I WILL BE TRUSTING.

Traci