In Perfect Peace

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for the in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3,4

The last two days I have experienced peace like never before. I had told Jim that I wanted a day all by myself so that I could scream, cry, or do whatever I wanted without worrying about effecting anyone else. On Monday, I was home getting our little nest ready for momma bird to be away and I walked around going, "OK Lord, I can cry now or even scream. It's just you and me. No one will hear me." I can't explain why but I felt none of those emotions. I just was very content and happy. Don't get me wrong I wake up every morning and feel the mass to see if it is still there. I keeping praying it will go away. I have no desire to have this surgery and go through the long recovery. This is a huge thorn in my life. I don't want to be on this path. I'm sure each of you have a path you have no desire to be on either. It's the portion I have in my life and I am determined to make the best out of it. I will not go through something as ugly as this without hoping it will be used to encourage someone else.

Last night was just another wonderful evening with Jim, Katie, and Matt. I wanted to write a story to Twas The Night Before Surgery. We started laughing and coming up with our own lines. We decided to play Imagine If instead which always brings a lot of fun. Just for the record - I won. I asked them if they were being easy on me? Not sure if they ever told me or not. Afterwards we all sat on the living floor and prayed together. I almost got the giggles because I started, the kids followed, and then Jim closed. He was very long winded and Matt hates to sit Indian style so I know it was killing him. As soon as Jim was finished Matt told him he could have completed it in two sentences. You had to be there but it was very funny. We then played with the train under the tree and experimented with how fast we could get it going without it coming off the track. Such simple joys!!

I want to thank you for all your calls and emails. They have meant so much to all of us. I received one from work yesterday that just cracked me up. Who could think engineers could actually be so funny?

Please pray as I enter surgery in 3 1/2 hours. The waiting before is the worst. I am praying for a wonderful team that God has put together, great floor nurses, and no complications from the surgery. I really don't want to go into those details that I have struggled with in the past. I just don't do well and it can be very scary. I continue to have trouble taking a deep breath without coughing but the doctors have not found anything so I'm once again trusting it won't cause any complications.

I told Jim that we are going to have a very fun morning. I want to be wheeled into surgery without any tears. I want a smile on my face when they put me under. There is a song that say something like this - I'm standing in sunshine even though the rain is coming down (I probably got this really wrong) but I love the song. I'll have to get the words later and share them with.

Love you all!! Keep praying!!

I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, OH YEAH, AND IT FEELS GOOD!!

Traci