A Strange Celebration

It's only Tuesday and it's been a tough couple of days.

Yesterday, I woke up having a really difficult time breathing again. I was thankful that I already had an appointment with my oncologist. I'm sure she shakes her head and wonders how she ever got me as a patient. I had a whole list of things to discuss with her. One, of course being the breathing issue. I was given all of my referrals to get tests done, plus a referral to see a Pulmonary and Critical Care doctor.

During my visit she also informed me that my BRCA 1 genetic test came back positive. I'm the third one in our family now (father's side). I really wasn't surprised. My results said that I had an 87% chance of getting breast cancer or ovarian cancer. My doctor said I made the right decision of having a bilateral mastectomy. The results showed that I would have had a 40% chance of getting breast cancer on my right side within 5 years.

Today, was another bad morning. I called work and told them I couldn't come in because I was feeling so bad. I wasn't even sure if I was up to having my radiation treatment. I just pushed through, put some sweats on and headed for the cancer center. As I was waiting for my treatment my oncology nurse came to the front desk. I asked her if she saw my oncologist if she would tell her I had another bad morning and I was not feeling well at all. She told me to follow her and brought me straight into my doctor's personal office. I shared what was going on and she had her nurse make my tests and referrals STAT. My nurse personally called the hospital to arrange having my CT Scan completed today.

I called Jim to let him know what was going on and he asked me if he needed to come back from work. I responded with my new saying, "I'll be fine." Well, he called me back and said he was on his way back and would meet me at the hospital. I really did think I would be OK, but having him with me was such a blessing. Immediately after my CT Scan I called the cancer center to see if they had gotten me in to see the Pulmonary doctor. The receptionist said that the hospital was on the phone already to my oncologist. She asked me to stay on hold until they were completed. When she got back on the phone she said my doctor wanted me to come back to the cancer center because she wanted to discuss the results of the scan. I didn't want to think the worst - the cancer had spread, so I just wouldn't let my mind go there. I was so, so thankful Jim would be going with me.

When we walked into the cancer center the front office gave me a piece of paper that had a prescription on it. They told me, "You have Pneumonia." I never thought in my life I would be so happy to have Pneumonia. I would celebrate Pneumonia over having the cancer spread any day. I was also glad that I wasn't going crazy (no comments). I couldn't imagine why I felt so bad and wasn't getting any better. I was also told that I would be seeing the Pulmonary doctor as soon as he could fit me in. I got a call on the way home that I would see him at 2:15 pm. Once again...so thankful Jim was with me.

The doctor appointment went well. He wanted me on an additional medication and requested two more tests that had to be done at the hospital. I had two visits to the cancer center today, two visits to the hospital, the one appointment with the doctor, and still had my radiation treatment. I was flat out exhausted. Jim kept pulling me along and making many jokes along the way. Have I mentioned I was so glad he was with me?

I've already started my medication, but know it takes a couple of days before it kicks in. I'll be staying home for the remainder of the week from work to rest (my Pneumonia is not contagious). Everyone at work is so supportive. This evening Lynn from work made sure to send over dinner for us. What a blessing.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my Radiation Oncologist. The Pulmonary doctor is not sure if I should continue with my radiation treatments. I'm guessing they will continue because the treatments probably have nothing to do with the Pneumonia. The Pneumonia is in the lower half of both lungs and the radiation is not hitting those areas. I guess I will find out tomorrow. Today I completed my 20th treatment, with only 13 more to go. I want to finish but I know the doctors will decide what is best.

This is the strangest journey. Just when I think it might start to get easier I'm required to climb a little steeper. I have to be honest and tell you I questioned "why" today. I don't understand it all and I probably never will. One of the girls at the cancer center told me today not to give up hope. Some days it's hard. Today though I've had the deepest peace that I know can only be from the Lord. I'm praying in a few days I'll be able to take a deep breath again.

I thank you again for all your support and prayers.