A Double Celebration

My family and I would like to wish everyone a Happy Easter. It's my favorite celebration of the year. I personally won't be able to go to church this year, but I feel as if I try and remember and celebrate it everyday of my life.

This year we have another reason to celebrate on Sunday - Matt turns 16. He was actually born the day after Easter sixteen years ago. I've always called him my Easter baby. I remember when he was just 4 that he said he couldn't wait to learn how to read so that he would be able to read the Bible on his own. I only recently found out that he still takes his Bible with him most days to school. We are so proud of the man he is becoming. I've always said he was born to bring joy to our lives. He keeps us laughing. I always thought we would have a big party for him for his 16th but because of my situation it's just going to be a quiet lunch at home. He is so supportive and understanding.

I have to say I'm sorry for not blogging this week. I know it worries some of you. For some reason it has been hard to type this week.

Last weekend started off with a special treat as our long time friends the Correll's and Derby's stopped by for a quick visit. Heather and her daughter Taylor were visiting from Ohio and they were leaving the next day for a week's cruise to Mexico. It's probably been 6 to 7 years since we've seen each other. It was a quick visit but we got in a few laughs. It's hard to believe that Matt and Taylor are 16. It's seems like Heather and I were that age just a few years ago laying on the beaches of Hawaii. Our summers were spent shopping, laying out, and eating at McDonald's. We have so many fun memories. Boy, has time flown by.

As they were here our friends the Vaughans stopped by and treated us to some healthy treats. Sharmila wanted me to try coconut water to help my immune system. I tried but I had a hard time drinking it. It sounded so good. They left a lot of goodies. We have been so blessed by so many friends bringing treats and meals. I've found though that if it's right after having chemo my family eats it before I even know what was brought. I feel bad that I forgotten to mention those who have been so generous. So, I just want to say a special thank you to the Pierson's, Galippo's, Avey's, and Harris's. Also to the Poblete's for the beautiful Tulips. I hope I'm not forgetting anyone (I'm sorry if I am).

I was doing OK last weekend. Still having good and bad hours - never knowing what I'm going to get and when. I'm still having trouble with my stomach. My Oncologist says its a result of the chemo and she has given me all the medication she can. It's just hasn't been working. If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Last night was one of my worst. It takes so long to recover.

I found out on Monday that my white blood count had dropped again. It took all week for insurance to approve and get us more Neupogen injections. We found out that each injection is $300.00. My co-pay is $69.75 per injection. When they told me I had to pay for a 21 day supply at the amount of $279 I wasn't too freaked out until I realized that was only for 4 injections. This cancer thing is so expensive. It's so much to deal with.

I will find out on Monday if I am having surgery on the 15th. We've been waiting all week to hear. We are still dealing with insurance and the hospital. It's just crazy. It's even more difficult trying to keep my blood counts up so that I can actually have the surgery. If the surgery can't be performed on Wednesday, than it is possible that I will have my 4th chemo treatment as previously planned on the 16th. The Oncologist didn't want to go ahead with it until I could have surgery, but it also can't be delayed too long. Like I said, "It's just all crazy!!"

I think with all the waiting, and being house bound because of my low white blood count, it's caused me to be way more emotional. I stopped putting on any make-up on Tuesday because it was just a waste of time. By mid-afternoon it was cried off. I have to be more diligent to focus on positive things to try and keep my spirits up. I think I've said this before but I'll repeat it because it's how I've felt all week, "I feel like they are trying to kill me." It just doesn't add up that something that is trying to save your life can make you feel as if your dying. Each week I deal with or find something else on my body that is being effected. It can get very overwhelming. I know there are many out there that can relate to all of this.

Linda Johnson sent me an email explaining that there will be a day when, "the serious, painful, repetitive, undesirable, nauseating, tiring, isolating days will be over." She explained it so well. I just can't wait. Patience is still not part of my character. I think having cancer isn't helping me in this area either.

I think I've shared this verse before - I just think I need to type it again for me. My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing. James 1:2-4

May Easter remind you, as it does me, of the hope we have. He did not leave us alone. Jesus said, "And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20

I promise to blog as soon as I know what will be happening next week. Thank you for your continued support and prayers. His blessings over you!