One More Thing

OK. Maybe two.

For those of you who consider yourselves prayer warriors - it's battle time. For those of you who don't - it's never to soon to start.

Just when I thought I was out of the woods and my incision was healing something really strange happened. On Saturday, the opening broke open again and started draining steadily. Immediately Jim had me call the plastic surgeon. The doctor believes that scar tissue broke lose and the fluid around it found an opening to drain. He asked a lot of questions and wanted me to call him on Monday.

On Sunday, as I was reading, all of sudden my shirt was soaking wet. As I ran to the bathroom there was fluid POURING out of the incision (I'm not exaggerating.) It took all the towels I had and about 20 minutes for it to slow down. Jim and Matt were at church. Katie was sleeping but I knew if I called her I would have totally freaked her out - probably because I was freaking out. It was one of strangest things. Jim believes it was as if the infection had caused a blister and the blister finally popped open. Lucky me.

I was able to get in to see the surgeon today. Jim's theory was right. Unfortunately, the incision will not heal with my continued chemo treatments. With each treatment my body gets weaker and has less ability to heal. So, what are they going to do? You're not going to believe it. The treatment is called vacuum assisted closure. They are going to place a foam piece on the opening which will have another plastic piece over it that will be sealed to the adjoining skin and it will be hooked up to a vacuum that will stay on for two to three weeks. Can my life get any stranger? I really don't know all the details (can't wait to share them with you). They are sending a nurse to the home that will hook it all up. As strange as it seems, if it works - bring it on!!

So, if I wasn't house bound before, this might lock the door. Which brings me to item number two.

I've tried to stay home and not go to any of those danger zones...you know the ones with people in them - just so I wouldn't come down sick. I have heard all the horror stories about getting sick while you're having chemo. I've been so good. Well...my house is now the danger zone. Matthew has come down so sick. I feel so bad for him. It's awful to have your son sick and you can't help him. Now, I'm isolated to my bedroom. If I leave my bedroom I have to wear a mask - IN MY OWN HOUSE. Somewhere there is a verse that says God will not give you more than you can handle (I need to find it), because I feel as if I'm at my breaking point.

I have felt bad for the last 19 days. I haven't had one whole day that I can say I felt good. I know everyone is different and I pray that not one person would have my experience. I have two more days until chemo. They say each treatment gets harder on your body. To say, "I'm not looking forward to Thursday," is an understatement. I keep praying I can do it. I keep praying I won't get the flu on top of everything I'm experiencing.

I feel so bad that my family has to endure all of this with me. It's just hard and I really need your prayers. Jim, Matt, and Katie need your prayers too. I know there are so many others out there who have it much worse than we do and trust me I pray for them too. This is just our life and this is what is happening in ours right now.

I believe prayer works! But what if you don't? I found an interesting verse. It tells me that even if I didn't share all of this with you and I didn't have your prayers - God is still with me. He is faithful and I know that when I can't take anymore He'll take over.

He was amazed to see that no one intervened to help the oppressed. So He himself stepped in to save them with His strong arm...Isaiah 59:16

I love the fact that in difficult times I'm not just in His hands but that He'll reach out with His strong arm. I'm really hanging on for my life.