It's Happening Again

First, I am so sorry that I haven't been able to keep you up to date. Losing my ability to type freely has been very difficult. This one hand typing isn't too much fun. I've also been overwhelmed. Therapy daily, doctors appointments frequently, work each day, and then working from home to make up the hours I'm missing from the therapy and doctor appointments - there just hasn't been little time or energy to write. There has been so much going on and a lot I needed to keep you informed about but I just couldn't.

I've had a few offers of having someone type for me so I can just dictate but I think that would be difficult for me. Even Katelynn when she realized I hadn't been blogging offered to type for me which I think is so sweet yet I'm sure I would drive her crazy. A friend from church told us about this program that allows you to talk and it types for you. Probably something I will have to consider.

Losing the use of my left hand has been far more difficult than I would have expected. Much more frustrating. I just can't think or write about that right now. Matt is letting me use his Net book so I can blog easier with one hand.

As I sit here I have my left arm elevated AGAIN. Yes, my arm is swelling again. It started to two weeks ago. My therapist has kept a close eye on it. She became concerned that I started to swell under my arm. It got so bad the skin finally broke open. I guess my body decided to start releasing this fluid by itself. It hasn't been very fun.

On Feb. 22nd, I woke up and noticed I had the blue veins slightly showing on my shoulder and a big one on my back. My therapist was so concerned that she had me put a call into my doctor's office and she also directly paged her. I didn't hear from her nurse until 1:00 pm telling me to go to emergency. I called Jim who was in San Diego so I knew he was 2 hours away. By the time we both got home from work, got my updated medical papers together and packed it was 4:00 pm. We should have gotten to the hospital by 4:20 but because of a car accident and fire on the freeway it took us almost 2 hours to get there. We couldn't believe it.

We also couldn't believe what we walked into. A large room filled to capacity with very sick people (mostly the flu) and no preorder from my doctor regarding my condition. This meant they had no idea what my history was or what my situation involved. I was told they would contact my doctor. Jim and I made a time limit that if they hadn't called me back we would leave. They called me back 3 minutes before our limit. I'm not going to waste my fingers on the details. They did a few tests and checked for a blood clot. They gave me some additional blood thinners and sent me home at 11:45 pm. They didn't call my doctor until 11:00 pm. It was so crowded they didn't let Jim come back with me until 10:15 pm and I sat in a chair in the corner. It seemed like the biggest waste of time.

The next day when I saw my doctor my arm looked better with no blue veins showing (of course). She was curious why I went to the emergency room. She decided I needed to continue with therapy. Which I did for another week.

Sandy graciously on a last minutes notice took me to the pain doctor on Monday (I was in no shape to drive). He had wanted me to add an additional pain med at night so I would be able to get through the night and hopefully not have such horrible mornings. Insurance didn't approve it so that appointment was another waste of time.

Sandy again on Tuesday offered to take me to see my Plastic Surgeon. He is such a compassionate man. He took his time explaining to me about the nerves and trying to understand how in the world I could have received the damage I did to the fingers on my left hand. He gave me the paperwork to schedule an MRI to check the implants and see what else it would show.

On Wednesday when I saw my doctor I explained that the measurements showed my arm was increasingly getting worse and now I was building fluid on the upper chest. She could visually see the increased fluid. I begged her not to let it go and cause it to do additional damage. She decided to order another Venogram. I am scheduled to see a Vascular surgeon on Tuesday (3/8) and she had wanted him to see me an then schedule tests but decided I couldn't wait.

I feel like I'm going through this all over again. I'm scared. Jim and I are both very frustrated. We want answers. I'm so tired of living with such terrible pain. I knew the nerve pain seemed a little better but now it seems that the compression in my arm is changing how the nerves are reacting.

You know I am a fighter. I am fighting through. I've tried to keep life going normal. I've enjoyed spending time with our church family as we celebrated Karen & Roger Jones moving to Texas. They are going to be missed so much! This last week I've enjoyed a bridal shower for Chloe and a baby shower for Lauren. It's helped. I'm so tired of laying around!

Today, I have no choice. I need to keep my arm elevated. I need the nurses and techs to have the best available veins. I will have my procedure at 10:00am tomorrow. I've asked Jim that if they can't determine what is wrong to either have them admit me or take me to the ER and see if I can get admitted that way. I don't want to come home feeling like I do this very minute

Looking and praying for answers. I will let you know what we find out.