Merry Christmas

Every day I think about what I was doing a year ago. That might sound strange because I normally would not be thinking this way. I guess it's because so much has happened and changed in a year. I've said many times that I feel like I've lived one long day. My life seemed to stop and everyone just continued on.

I still have my good and bad days and get really frustrated that I continue to have bad days. I so want life to be different. In reality it is. Last year at this time I had tubes connected to my body (oh, how I hated those tubes). Last year was a very simple Christmas, yet I would tell you it's one that I will always treasure.

This year we have filled our Christmas season with lots of intimate family time. We've watched more Christmas movies, baked, shopped together, and just enjoyed every minute together. No longer is there this fear of what our year will be like fighting cancer. A lot of different emotions to experience. I'm not completely recovered, yet I celebrate how far I've come.

I know I'm kind of rambling but I think that's how my mind is right now. I don't feel balanced yet. Maybe only those who have experienced cancer would understand how I feel. I'm beginning to enter life again and it doesn't happen as easily as I would like it to. I watch others in their battle with cancer - some doing well - others losing the battle. It's very difficult understanding it all.

I really believe if each of us accepted today for the gift it really is we would live so differently. We need to live differently.

My friend Sandy D. sent me an email today that really touched me so I thought I would share it.

Each morning there is a gift on my pillow, waiting to be unwrapped. As soon as I open my eyes I see it - a bright new day has dawned. The best thing about this gift is that I get to make it whatever I choose.I begin with gratitude, giving thanks for my life, my breath and the possibilities of a new beginning. I go about my activities with enthusiasm, noticing love and beauty and laughter. If a conflict arises, I bring what I choose to the situation. I add compassion, forgiveness and understanding. Filled with gratitude for the joy of being alive, I conclude my day with prayer and meditation. I close my eyes and I am restored by a night of peaceful rest. "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Enjoy your gift today.

Jim, Katie, Matthew and I wish you a very blessed Christmas!