New Lessons

Just when I thought I was keeping everyone informed on a timely basis...

I won't complete that thought, I will just start a new one (trust me this is a normal thing for me anymore - it's driving my family crazy).

I have much to catch you up on so I will just jump right into it.

First our vacation was (I really want to say exhausting) fun. We went on our first cruise to celebrate Jim's parents 50th Anniversary. I'm going to be honest and say I don't think I'm a cruise person (but I'm also not myself right now either), so I still want to go on the Alaskan cruise and decide then if the cruise life is for me. We were so blessed to get a room with a balcony. This was my favorite place to go. There were a lot of fun things we did. The absolute worst part was that Jim Sr. & Judy both came down with the stomach flu. They were in their cabin for 2-1/2 days. It was awful on them, and so disappointing for us. The last day the waters were a little rough and none of us enjoyed that part. At least we were excited to come back and get ready to move to our new home.

Sometimes things don't go as planned. The day we arrived home we got a call that our agent wanted to meet with us. At first I was really excited but then all of a sudden I got this sick feeling in my stomach (which didn't feel like the flu). We learned that when we were on vacation they found a lien on the house from an ex-wife. Our escrow should have closed, but the ex-wife is refusing to remove the lien. It's completely out of spite (her words - "I'm not going to make anything easy for him.") and the lien does not benefit her - especially with a short sale (we hope and pray she will change her mind. As soon as she does escrow closes. If the lien can't get removed the house goes into foreclosure, which could be a very long process). All four of us go back and forth from disappointment, to realizing there is a reason. The escrow has been extended for another month and in the meantime we continue to look for another house. I've sort of lost my excitement, but I think it's because I've had to refocus on my health.

I realized on our trip that there were new nodes (bumps) that were popping up around my collarbone and chest area. I had a funny feeling the cancer was on the move again. I had my MRI test on January 3rd. My doctor asked if I would stop and see her before we headed out. I was amazed that when she knew I was there she walked down to the radiology department, sat with the radiologist and reviewed my films on the spot. One of the many benefits of City of Hope.

We discussed the MRI. The good news is that there was no cancer in the shoulder. My doctor and radiologist are both concerned about the injury to my left arm/hand. He is perplexed how I could have received this injury and wants to meet with me to discuss the details.

I shared with my oncologist what I was feeling in my chest. She decided she wanted to quickly look at the wound. The wound is slowly healing and looking much better. It does continually drain which is bothersome. As the doctor looked at my back I saw a glimpse of her face and knew. The cancer had quickly returned and was flared up again. She confirmed my suspicion (she didn't mention if she saw anything on the MRI, and I forgot to ask). She said I couldn't wait for the wound to heal. I needed to start chemo the following week. The GOOD NEWS is that there was a misunderstanding when we were there last time. We all seemed to misunderstand their meaning for no cure, as if there was nothing they could do. When we were there on Jan. 3rd we shared how we left with no "hope". They apologized and explained that there wasn't any cure, but there were many treatments they could try to keep it from spreading. I have a chronic condition that will require chemo for the rest of my life.

Jim and I were told I would start chemo on the following Tuesday. At that time they still needed to look over my chart and meet with the other COH oncologists to determine what would be the most effective treatment. I could not be on the chemo I was just on, because even though it was working, the side effects were actually hurting me more. I left with a heavy heart. I knew I would be starting chemo again, but it's difficult starting with new doctors, a new facility, and the unknown again. I'm not one that does good with change. I immediately went into my administrator position (I get to be both with my cancer). I began to start scheduling and setting things up for the chemo. I always try to call Jean at church so she knows what's going on to forward it on to everyone. It is so helpful.

The next day I got a call from my friend Dayna. She had asked me if I would be willing to come to a dinner to meet the pastor they work with in Thailand (Pastor Tuja), and to have a time to pray specifically for me and my healing. I was only reluctant because I don't like going to gatherings where I don't know anyone. I talked to Jim and his response was, "You need all the prayer you can get." I agreed to go, but at first was really nervous. Dayna said that as soon as I would agree to come, her ministry team of Ethnos-Asia would send out prayer requests. I also called Jean. She talked to Pastor Buzz (her husband) and decided to open the church to join in praying for me between 7 to 7:30 pm on Jan. 6th. Dayna's sweet son Jake even put in a request at the clothing store C28 for prayer. They sent a follow up email that all their stores would be praying.

It was an AMAZING night. Dayna's friends were amazing. Martin who leads the ministry was so loving and supportive. I was so humbled to be a part of this evening. I enjoyed meeting Pastor Tuja. He is a sincere and grateful servant. The home was Brenda's and Joe's who have the gift of hospitality. I immediately felt welcomed and loved by all. They allowed me to share my story, and then at 7:00 pm began to pray. I don’t know how to explain it but I felt something and so did everyone around me. I know God did something. It may not be immediate and I don’t know what it is. At the start they asked me how I was feeling and I told them I had pain in my shoulder so they prayed for that and it was immediately gone. It was a wonderful night of prayer and listening to testimonies of miracles and what God is doing through their mission work. I'm going to add a link to the blog so others can learn about their ministry. I know Dayna believes I will be going with her to Thailand (specifically Kathmandu, Nepal) for a missions trip.

Brenda gave me several signs she had around her home to give me encouragement and help me stay focused on the positive things God is doing in my life. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I had a huge bag. I told Dayna that Jim was going to think we were out shopping instead of praying. It was such a wonderful blessing!

The prayers went out all over the world that Friday night (30 countries), and across the US. I could feel the prayers and was incredibly encouraged. The words that were spoken over me uplifted me. It was emotional and powerful. I've told a few people that I felt like I was pulled off the battle field and given food, water, wounds dressed, new clothes, and was loved on. I was promised victory and then the next day had to return to the battle field. That night was everything I needed to know I will win this battle.

The next morning God gave me these 2 scriptures: 2 Chronicles 16:9 - "The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." And Psalm 145:18-19 - "The LORD is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them".. It’s not about my story; it’s about the extraordinary God we serve.

Now some of you are going to say...I didn't know, why didn't you tell me. My answer is...I just didn't. It happened very quickly. So I will ask now. Join us in continuing to pray for a miracle of healing. I was believing and still am. I'm just waiting.

Jim and I decided until we see a change we need to continue going forth with City of Hope. Telling my current oncologist that I've had for three years that I would be changing my treatment to COH was a very hard thing to do. I think she got emotional too. The day before I was supposed to start chemo at COH I got a call from my new oncologist that their board met and felt I would be a good candidate for a medical trial. With this the case it would delay treatment until I completed consent forms (signed last Tuesday), and required tests (completing tomorrow...the dreaded PET CT Scan - pray again for the prep and procedure at 1:15 to 3:15pm).

The regiment of chemo they want to put me on will be VERY difficult. The 1st day could take 12 to 14 hours, the 2nd day around 8 hours, and the 3rd through 5th day an hour to two. The trial is to determine if the medication works better every 21 days or every week. I might not find out which group I fall in until the day I start.

I got a call Monday that insurance approved my participation, so I will begin treatment next Monday, Jan. 23rd. Saying I'm nervous is an understatement. I will be gone from my family Sunday night through Wednesday afternoon the 1st week of each round and a couple of days the following weeks. I will be staying with my cousin Kellie or Aunt Katie as they live closer to City of Hope. It's going to be very hard on all of us. We will most likely set up a schedule for others to help. I just need to go through the first round to determine what I will need. We believe they will only allow one person at a time with me during the chemo.

I get asked by everyone how can I help? PRAY! Meals will be difficult because we are not sure who will be home, and when. Jim has said gas cards would be very helpful, Sam's club, or even Stater Bros. cards so we can load up food for Matt & Katelynn.

Pray for Jim as he needs his mind focused on his job, and this will be very difficult when I'm gone. Matthew will be taking care of Katelynn when he is not working. The responsibility is not new to him as he has been a great help. I'm praying that Katelynn can stay focused on school. All three of them have been through so much. I hope when I'm home my side effects won't be too bad so I can help them around the house and enjoy my time with them.

We took a trip on Sunday to The Living Desert in Palm Desert. Kellie invited us. It was fun to see the boys excitement with the animals (she has 9 yr old twins). I was so excited I was able to walk the whole thing. I just loved being with my family, walking in the sunshine, laughing, and making some more memories. We got home in time to go to the Sunday night church service but as soon as I sat down on the couch I was asleep. Better in my house than in front of Pastor Greg at church (smile!). It doesn't take much to wipe me out.

So...the journey continues and changes AGAIN. I just know there is victory ahead. As Martin said to me, "I have my story to tell and let everyone know the things God has done."

Thank you for being a part of this story. I'm so sorry it took so long to update you.

I hope you feel my love for you through this blog. It's only because of you I continue to write.