The Waiting Game

It will be another week until we know exactly what is to come....

Yesterday, I saw the first surgeon - my plastic surgeon to confirm that there wasn't an infection due to the implant, and also to get his opinion on the swelling on my left side. He isn't convinced I have an infection, but went ahead and put me on an antibiotic because of my past history. He also wrote a prescription for Lymphedema therapy. The therapists will not do treatment until I've been on the antibiotics for a minimum of a week. They are going to call me on Friday to see if there is any difference in my arm. If there is I can start therapy on Monday.

Today the meeting with the surgeon took an unexpected turn. I went in believing that I wouldn't be having surgery because I thought she would tell me that the area looked like an infection. Instead she told me that she believes it is a cancerous tumor, but she is unable to operate on the area. The tumor is within the muscle, and she doesn't believe she can determine it's exact location. The CT scan did not show anything conclusive. She does believe that this tumor is what is blocking the lymph nodes and causing the swelling in the arm and hand.

My oncologist sent me to the surgeon not necessarily for the area to be removed but because she wanted a biopsy. She needs the biopsy to determine the type of treatment I will need. In other words most likely I will be going through another round of chemo.

Somehow that hadn't clicked in my brain until the surgeon said it out loud. I also learned that I not only have the two spots that showed up on my August PET Scan but I have another lump on my right breast (or chest - not sure what to call it). I was not aware of this. Maybe my oncologist said it and I just assumed she meant the one they were previously looking at. So, in three months I have two new spots.

I left in unbelief and feeling numb. I could tell I was going into survival mode. I'm still there. I also have a lot of peace. Only God can give you that during a time like this.

I'm scheduled to see my oncologist on Tuesday. I did put a call into her to see if she would discuss the matter with me over the phone. I'm guessing she will wait until Tuesday.

I am considering going to City of Hope for a second opinion - even though I really don't have the first opinion yet. My cousin Kellie wants me to start treatments right away and not have anything delayed. I reassured her that I will do everything I can.

No decisions can be made until I have more information. I am waiting again.

Once again, I am convinced He is right there holding my hand as this journey takes another turn.