The Master Of Breakthroughs

It's a peaceful evening. I'm sitting here next to the fire, and smelling pumpkin bread that is cooking in the oven. One thing I love about the cooler evenings. It's medicine for my soul.

As promised, I'm blogging regarding the results from my doctor appointment. The results I received didn't go as I had wished.

There is a new area on my left upper chest that is 2 cm (almost an inch) and probably the reason for the pain, redness, and swelling I have been experiencing in my arm. She also said there are new findings in my esophagus area (but we're not even checking on that one right now). She is more concerned about my left side because it's obvious that something is going on just by looking at my arm. The two other areas that were of concern the last time are still there but there has been no change.

My doctor is scheduling two CT Scans - one with contrast and the other one without. While I was in her office she contacted the breast surgeon she is referring me to, so they could discuss what she would require to view. Yes...another surgery. It's the only way they can determine if it's cancer by removing it and have it biopsied. I already have so many questions for the surgeon.

I just can't believe I have to have another surgery. My poor body just can't get a break.

I've been thinking of a scripture all day that I recently read. We have been studying 1 & 2 Samuel. In chapter 5 right after David and his men defeated the Philistines David said, "The LORD has broken through my enemies before me like a breakthrough of water." Therefore he called the name of that place Baal Perazim. (translation - Master of Breakthroughs). - 2 Samuel 5:20.

A few months ago I came across a scripture that was talking about the enemies in your life. I tried to find it tonight but couldn't. I wrote next to it - Cancer has become my enemy. So when I read that verse in 2 Samuel and the meaning of Baal Perazim I instantly thought that God will be The Master of my breakthrough. He is The Master of all breakthroughs.

As always I'm going to be honest with you. Emotionally I've had some pretty low moments lately. Friday evening for some reason was one of my hardest moments. All of it just hit me so hard. I was in so much pain, couldn't sleep, and was done with it all. It's been two long and tough years. I just cried and cried. I just had to repeat God knows, God sees, God hears, God cares. Over and over I repeated it until it became balm for my soul.

The next morning as I was praying, I began to write out the words and poured out more of what I felt. All of a sudden I felt like I had a song written. Katelynn came in to say good morning and I told her she couldn't laugh but I thought I had written a song. Now, know I'm the only one in my family who has NO musical ability whatsoever. I sang the song to her (and there were some really rough spots) but she was pleasantly surprised. She came to me a little later and said she kept singing the words. I've been too embarrassed to sing it to Jim or Matt, but I believe I will give them what I have and see what they can come up with.

I understood why David penned so many songs. Music can soothe the soul like nothing else can. The last song I shared on my previous blog, "Keep Breathing" has encouraged to think about what I need to keep doing. I'm not done yet, I can't give up, I'll keep believing and hold tighter a little longer. Okay...a lot longer. As long as God allows me to. He has a purpose and a plan in all of this.

On the hard days I just have to dig a little deeper and pray that His joy will be my strength. This journey has seemed long to me, but I know God's timing is perfect.

If anything...I keep you all praying!

I love you all so much!!