Dockside and ABC's

Yes, I survived the dreaded boat ride.

The night before I didn't do very good. I don't know if it was the diet or the anticipation, or maybe both. I felt as if I was in a deep bubble. I had originally made plans with my friend Corine to do something in the evening. Once she learned that I was on a restricted diet she decided to have me to her house and make me dinner. I was so blessed that her husband Mike made me a gourmet dinner with the three ingredients that I was allowed to eat...meat, cheese, and eggs. I had a baked chicken and scrambled egg yokes with bacon. It was so sweet. Corine and I had a wonderful time just chatting - in between me feeling very sick to my stomach. She has the gift of hospitality. I've always said that if Christ was walking in our town, her house would have been the one He would have stopped at. Poor Mike would have had to be the Martha making the dinner, because Corine wouldn't miss sitting at the feet of Jesus. I am so thankful to have such treasured friends.

Jim's mom once again took me for my PET scan. I reminded her to wear warm clothing this time because they keep the place an iceberg. They actually gave me a warmed blanket during the scan. It's really that cold. I'm not sure why but I got really groggy once I drank the sugary drink and they injected me with the nuclear meds. The scan seems like it will never end (I have no idea how long it was - you would think with me being short it wouldn't take so long - yes, that was a joke). There is a part of the scan that they won't let anyone be in the room with me, so Jim's mom had to step behind the glass during that time. I always think - "What could they be doing to my body?" Mom said that she was able to see the same spot that lit up on my bone scan. I'm interested to see what it is - hoping it is only scar tissue. I came home after the scan and crashed. I think I slept for 2 hours. It was as if they put something in the injection that made me sleepy. Very strange. By the next morning I was back to feeling normal...well, as normal as I've felt since...well, I don't remember what normal feels like.

My doctor's appointment, to get my results, was supposed to be September 7th but I got it moved up to next Monday, August 16th. It's first thing in the morning this way Jim can come with me. I also see my Pulmonologist on the 18th because my lungs have been acting up again. It doesn't seem as bad as before but my lungs really burn and I've been coughing more. I think someone secretly called him because I got a call from his office that it was time for him to see me. When is the last time you got a call from your doctor? I told them I would wait until next week because then I would have my PET scan results.

Last week I had the privilege of reading the life story of Barbara Jones. The first page reads..."Hopefully, my story will inspire you to accept the challenges of the road we're all traveling...IT'S CALLED LIFE!" It was given to me by her sister, Mary Holm. Mary has faithfully sent me a note almost every week since the beginning of this journey. Mary and I had never met before I started receiving her notes. She learned of my journey through our prayer list each week (Jean takes bits and pieces of the blog and prints them for those who don't have the Internet - did I tell you about the man from church who came up to me and asked if I was the one who wrote the very long prayer requests? I told Jean she is giving me a bad reputation).......anyways on to my point....if it wasn't for Jean doing this I wouldn't have met Mary. I told Mary on Sunday that she has been my special gift for getting cancer.

Mary's sister Barbara also had breast cancer so Mary had been telling me she wanted me to read her sisters book (not actually published - just spiral bound). Barbara is very inspiring. Not only did she have breast cancer but was diagnosed afterwards with Lou Gehrig's Disease - in her own words she explained that there is no good news with ALS - it's a death sentence (very sad). Yet, not only was I blessed to read about Barbara's life but I felt as if I got to know Mary better hearing about her early life with her sister - they were very close. I got permission from Mary to share a few of my favorite things about the book. I really hope they can publish it because it's a very sweet story. I know my aunts would love to read it. They lived a simple life in Texas when I guess life just seemed simpler (is that a word?).

So here are a few things I treasured reading....

"You must remember that nothing is impossible with God, keep the faith always holding Him above any diagnosis."

"YARD BY YARD ITS HARD...INCH BY INCH ITS A CINCH!!

"We are not human beings having spiritual experiences we are spiritual beings having human experiences." Regarding chemo...."This was a human experience and it would pass...it would pass...it would pass."

"God is faithful and watching our trials and hardships and walks with us every step of the way. This is the truth! Trust me on this!!!"

"It is my firm personal belief that life changes much like the seasons change. Remembering back on my own life there was a SPRING as in play, childhood, school, dating, young adult or college....SUMMER might have been marriage, young children, beginning career....FALL would have been pride at watching our children graduate college, get married, grandchildren, financial stability, etc. WINTER was the older years when life was leisurely, travel, or retirement."

Something she crossed stitched: "LIFE CHANGES - I have lived long enough to know that nothing lasts forever and men torture themselves who believe that it will. The one thing that does not change is that everything changes and the hardship I was bearing today was only a breath away from the pleasures I would enjoy tomorrow; and those pleasures would be all the richer because of this I was enduring."

"This cross stitch reminds me every day as I look upon it that there is nothing average or really stable about life. We are simply passing through and experiencing everything that goes along with that to our final destination....Heaven!"

"The pain of those few days lingers in me even now as I remember the anguish. Dealing with the diagnosis is overwhelming and anxiety would come without notice. I knew I had to learn to refocus my mind from myself back to God who was still in charge so this is what came out of the refocusing process. I developed an alphabet game when my thoughts became uncontrollable and the anxious feelings that would begin in the pit of my stomach would overtake me I would make myself repeat over and over the alphabet adding an attribute of the Lord to each letter.

A - Almighty; B - Beautiful; C-Creator; D-Deliverer; E-Eternal; F-Father; G-Good; ....L-Love; M- Mighty; N-Near; O-Omniscient; P-Prince of Peace...

After completing the whole alphabet I would again come to grips with who was really in control of my life and not only mine but every ones. I was not the creator, I was created and therefore had nothing to fear and I was safely there with my name written in the palm of God's hand...that's what He told us in His word. I came to know in my heart that nothing was going to happen to me that He wasn't aware of and in control of. He didn't cause this disease but will work it all out for my good, because again the scripture says, "All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." The alphabet game was a very simple thing to do but nevertheless it got me through those first days of what I had been told would become my fate."

"There are times when I feel I can't stand one more minute (talking about ALS), not another hour and certainly not another day but when I close my eyes I picture Him reaching for my hand and holding it gently in His. The reality of who I am in Christ becomes of topmost importance as He assures me that "Those who suffer with Him will reign with Him!""

"I've learned that success does not depend on wealth, power, beauty, or fame. It's all about how many lives you've touched leaving a fragrance that God gave only to you."

Barbara wrote a complete chapter on HEAVEN. I just can't type all of it. It was very special, and I will admit hard to read. I know I also think about heaven more than I did two years ago. She writes, "My mind is so earthly and common, why do I wonder about these things when I know the answers are all in His Book...at least the answers He wants me to know about. He doesn't explain Himself to anyone...HE IS GOD, THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH. I will trust in Him to do just that with my life while here on earth until He allows me to enter that holy place, Heaven! I am not worthy of His love but He gives it anyway! It's called grace and I have been blessed with that grace beyond measure."

"May all who read this find encouragement in whatever situation you find yourself. It doesn't matter how hard the task...God will show you the way...one step at a time. YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN PERSEVERE AND BE VICTORIOUS IN WHATEVER LIFE TOSSES YOUR WAY!"

The story and words of Mary's sister, Barbara Jones, gave me such encouragement this last week as I continue on this journey. I believe she would be thrilled to know her words have been shared to pass on that encouragement to anyone who is reading right now.

I've already been using the ABC's of God.

Make a list of your own!